The Host After the Rain
by Maira Z. Pereira
Summary: After several days sleeping in the games room, Wanda fears but, at the same time, longs for a little more privacy with Ian. We learn a bit more about Ian's story and about how it was for Wanda to be in a new body.
1. Chapter 1 The Talk

_I apologize in advance for any mistakes I could have made in English. I'm Brazilian and this story was originally written in Portuguese. Please comment if you think you help me improve my translation. _

It's been four days since the rains have stopped. The most impatient had moved to their rooms on the first or second day, but many were hoping to be a little safer that they would not be caught in the middle of the night by a sudden rainstorm.

The return of the heat was a problem for this body, accustomed to the clouds of Seattle, but I was glad that we no longer need to sleep all in one place. The near total lack of privacy had its price and was weighing for all o us. Couples hardly touch each others now that a simple glance could generate sparks when they can not get a minute alone. Sparks of another kind also flew here and there. Everyone was cranky and anything was banal reason for disagreements. This atmosphere was oppressive to me.

However, even more oppressive than the heat or the irritability of my friends, was the constant and voluminous desire that ran through my veins. It was part of me now, natural and urgent as my own blood. This teen body, younger and more immature than Melanie's, was constantly taken by conflicting desires and emotions with which I was just learning to cope. The worst was the debilitating shyness that came over me every time Ian looked at me, even though I desperately wanted to be near him all the time.

And he looked at me a lot those days, with a mixture of anxiety, concern and urgency. And each time it happened, I felt my whole body burn. That's why when he told me: "Peg, cam we go back to our room?" – pretending he was to busy to look me in the eye, while we organized our work materials for the day - I simply replied, "Yes please", without looking directly at him, following the cue that it meant nothing else. During the rest of that day, we stayed together all the time, even during the short break we gave to ourselves after lunch, so we could organize our belongings and take them back to the room. But we almost didn't talk and I did not meet his eyes even once.

I knew he would be looking at me, full of anticipation, guessing my thoughts, suffering when he could not do it, thinking about making things easier for me. I could not bear the idea of causing it to him, it left me frustrated, but I just could not react differently. My face burned every time I felt his sapphire eyes on me.

That's why Melanie, who had moved to her room with Jared on the first day of after the rain stoped, took my hand after work as we went to take our baths and was goofing off, trying to find the best way to say something that look really important. I din't put her under any pressure, because, actually, I wasn't really anxious to have any kind of important conversation that day, whatever it was. But after a while, she suddenly found her way:

- Wanda, I think you really need advice from your older sister here.

"Oh, no, no, no" I thought, guessing Mel felt that she should have "the talk" with me. I tried to change the subject:

- You really are my sister. But older? Come on! I mean, you know how old I am.

- I know, but in that body you are, in that tenth life of yours, you are almost a child. There are certain things you need to know. - she said with complicity and, at the same time, trying to sound a little goofy.

- Mel, do you forget that I am as experienced as you? I remember everything you remember.

Immediately after I said that, I regretted it, knowing that Mel did not want to be remembered that I had shared all her memories with Jared and even her feelings. Jealousy, anger and discomfort passed successively by her expression, but when she noticed how sorry I was, she was able to focus on me again, even though the goofy air had gone completely:

- Remembering... knowing... it's not the same as... _she hesitated a moment, looking for the right word ... _experiencing.- She finally said, relieved and proud to have succeeded in putting things mildly.

- Mel, you don't need to worry about me. I know it will be ... different. But I am so ready to have my own experiences this time.

That seemed to make her happy. I know she knew it would be a decisive step for me to overcome any remaining feelings I had for Jared. Having my own experiences was, in a way, turning us apart, I wasn't used to not sharing everything with Melanie. But on the other hand, it could bring me closer to her, eliminating the only discomfort between us. Melanie was no longer jealous of my relationship with Jamie. Like him, she embraced me as a new sister. She also did not care that some in the caves liked me better than hers, because those were friendships that I conquered. She even liked the fact that Jeb treated us both, equally, as part of his family. But Jared ... Well, that was a sore spot. And the more I walked towards Ian's arms, the farther I was from hurting her.

I was so sure these were the exact thoughts that went through the mind we shared for so long, and after a few seconds I saw I was right as her face softened and she kissed me on the forehead, hugging me protectively. With a sigh, she said simply:

- I'm happy for you, then.


	2. Chapter 2 About Dinner and Pain

Dinner went as usually. Ian stood beside me respecting my silence and talking with Jamie about everyday things. At the end of the night, as always, some stayed to listen and ask me questions. The story of the Knight of the Beast was everyone's favorite now. Jamie, in his innocence, would say:

- I don't know why you haven't told us this one before.

- Indeed ... I don't know either. - Jeb always completed with that false air of innocence of his, while giving me a wink that made it clear he liked to tease me.

Now, besides my own stories, I also had some memories of Pet. But I did not like to talk about them, it seemed disrespectful and it was very painful too. I felt bereaved. I miss this soul I never knew and also suffer for the mother who stayed behind and I would never see. Much was different now. Most for the better, but this was the painful part I had to deal with.

Despite all the changes, nights after dinner ran almost the same as before. I still had a captive audience: my friends, plus Kyle and Sunny, and occasionally Candy.

Sunny particularly enjoyed hearing my stories, I think it helped her cope with homesickness. Sometimes she became so excited that she also told some of her own memories or even rushed to answer a question posed to me. When this happened, Kyle smiled to see her happy, but soon this expression started to become dark and Sunny, realizing this, then mimicked him. I think for Kyle, knowing a little more about Sunny's past was a painful reminder that now she is the one who's there. Poor Kyle felt torn between memories of Jodi and his feelings for the Soul living inside her body. The more he liked Sunny, the more he felt abandoning Jodi. Love smiled, but the guilt was silent and when Sunny saw it, she was silent too.

Candy also kept some memories from Summer Song, sometimes she ventured telling us something, but this was not very frequent. She did not like to think about how long she was broken and undone inside herself, her consciousness scattered and dormant. She was a great woman and could offer friendship to the two Souls who were now her co-habitation, but I knew that what we were brought right to her disgust. The people with whom she felt more comfortable among all of us were Melanie and, incredibly, Lacey. Her roommate was still difficult for most to endure, but it was easy to understand why Candy felt that the three of them shared a unique experience between This seemed to create a bond between them, like I had created with Sunny.

I believe Lacey must have some stories too, I'm sure, but even she was sensible enough to know that no one would want to hear about the past of the Seeker, so she remained distant. One night, she tried to follow Candy, but we were all so uncomfortable that she never returned. Moreover, she did not like me. She still hated Melanie, despite the efforts of Candy. And Mel had almost the same disgust for her that she had for the Seeker. Ian and Jared also felt difficult to accept her in the group and Jeb barely tolerated her. I was sorry because, despite knowing that she would never admit, Lacey must be very lonely. Mel and Ian always repeated, almost in chorus rehearsed: "Let it go, it's not worth it. She is lonely because that's what she brings to herself. She wanted it that way. " But I knew no one would be lonely and unhappy if they could have friends and family. It was sad, simply.


	3. Chapter 3 Ian and Kyle

Each one in the caves carried their own share of pain and Ian would say that I tried to load everybody else's. Perhaps he was right, but the truth is that I liked to think about others, hear about their anxieties and hopes. Now the after-dinner conversations looked much more a conversation than before. I talked less and listened to everything they'd say. I loved hearing the stories my humans friends told. But I knew better not to ask questions, I just let they speak as much as they wished. Like mine, those were stories of another life ...

I just felt comfortable asking about Ian's life, like when I wondered why he and Kyle were so different. "It's because of my mother," he said, with eyes that broke my heart:

- When she died, he was about Jamie's age. He could not deal very well with the loss and my father didn't know how to deal with his own pain and Kyle's. Thinking about the good memories, about all the things she had taught me... It helped me to survive. That alone was enough for me, but I couldn't help my father, or Kyle.

We were sitting in the middle of the cornfield and he rested his head on my shoulder. I stroked his face and felt sorry, because I realized I could not ease the burden of sorrow. So I asked for the good memories:

- Tell me more about her.

Ian's mother was a very sweet woman who loved arts and dance. She was a great housewife and a handful cook and only she could soften the harshness of her husband. Ian inherited her beautiful sapphire eyes and her compassion. Alice, that was her name, liked to take good care of everyone she loved.

- Sometimes you remind me of her. - he said looking somewhere else, at another time.

She died of a heart condition, "a heart too good for this world," Ian said, and it devastated the family. I could imagine it, because of the feelings I shared from when Melanie lost her parents and also, because I felt that inexplicable longing for the woman who mothered Pet. That made me understand a little of Kyle's revolt. In the rare moments when Ian lost control I also had a glimpse of that pain on him.

The strength and hardness shared between him and Kyle were molded by the years that followed the death of their mother, living in a house that could no longer be a home, where these three men, two of them just boys, suffered each in their own way, without being able to divide or ease the pain with one another. But Ian's father always found strength enough to protect his children and never ceased to be interested in them. He never gave up trying to restructure things, never gave up trying to get Ian to open his heart or get Kyle to create judgment. He had been so happy when the eldest son introduced him to Jodi, hopeful that a new woman in Kyle's life could make him more sensitive and affable.

That's why when their father came home one night, all disinterested and "acting like a TV off the air", they soon were surprised. They noted the strange gleam in his eyes and a scar on the back of the neck that looked old but had not been there the day before. In the neighborhood and at work - all three worked in construction - they had already noticed those strange eyes before. One day their colleagues came to work complaining that a wife, mother or boss who were acting strange and then a day or two later, they acted as if they had taken "a shot of the rainbow", as Ian said. I couldn't help noticing his ability to find interesting and strange metaphors, but I had to force myself to return my focus to the rest of the story. After all, I was interested.

The two brothers talked a lot that night and could not understand what was causing all those changes, but they had seen things and heard rumors. They knew it was just a matter of time until they were "infected" by that too, whatever it was. Then they took some backpacks with clothes, food and water and left without saying anything to their father. Their intention was to find someone who was still normal, maybe a doctor, and try to find a "cure" before returning to their father.

Kyle went with Ian to Jodi's house, but when the headlights reflected the silver in her eyes while she was in the front yard taking some purchases from her car, Kyle kept driving and did not speak for many hours, his face stiffened with pain and anger. In the two days that followed, they watched everybody intently: the clerks from the convenience store where they stopped, the waiters in roadside diners where they made their meals, reps of the cheap hotels where they slept, they all had the same eyes.

Radio and television conveyed strange news, everything seemed in perfect order in the world, and that simply wasn't the order of their world. And they decided to no longer trust what they heard on the car radio or read in the headlines that saw at newsstands.

On the morning of the third day, they observed horrified when silver eyed police officers, guns hanging discretely in their holsters, led a frightened man who had fallen asleep on a park bench. The man screamed things about his family and his friends who had been "possessed", but no one seemed surprised, watching the scene with their listless eyes. They knew that they couldn't do anything to help him, then they held back their impulses and simply went back into the car and to their trip.

Without knowing what to do, because they would not dare go into a hospital to look for doctors, much less to seek help at a police station, they concluded it was best to avoid the others as much as they could. They would sleep in the car, buy food always at dawn, when few people were around, and continue traveling until they get to a city without contamination. If you were traveling, your best bet, they concluded, was to stay close to the desert, probably fewer people would travel by these roads, and there they followed.

Exhausted from traveling left the road at night and looked for a discreet place to park and sleep. They trusted that the darkness would protect them and that with the dawning of the sun they would wake up and follow travel without arousing more suspicion. Tired as they were, however, they did not realize that the first light of day brought a visitor, who had been accompanying them since they parked there, according with what they knew later that morning.


	4. Chapter 4 O'Shea of the Caves

**Hi, readers! I would like to thank you for all the visits After the Rain has been having. I can see in my stats that you guys are from different countries and I'm amazed by that. I would really love to meet all of you. Please, write me, even if it's just once, so I can know a little bit about you.**

Ian was the one who first opened his eyes. It had not yet fully dawned, but there was light enough to see the strange gunman who faced them. He stood startled and gave Kyle, who was squeezed in a lopsided way in the back seat, a nudge. Before they could fix themselves in a good position to start the car, the man pointed a flashlight straight into the eyes of each of them. When he finished, he lowered the gun and pointed the flashlight to his own eyes. The very miracle of faded blue eyes approached them and they hesitantly lowered the car windows:

- Hey boys, why don't you two just hang a neon sign saying " for rent" on those foreheads of yours? It would call less attention than this flashy car standing in the middle of nowhere ...

They were so confused and pleasantly surprised that not only they did not understand a word he said, but also failed to articulate any kind of response.

- What happens now? Will we be planted here admiring the sunrise or are you guys gonna let me in?

No words yet articulate, Ian sat up in the passenger seat where he had been sleeping and unlocked the doors. The stranger entered, not letting go even for a second of his rifle, which he laid there between the driver's door and his own body, out of their reach. He started the car and introduced himself while already driving:

- My name is Jeb. I survived the parasites and I can teach you two to do the same. But we have to learn to trust each other pretty quickly if you want to survive. - He said launching an incisive look in the rearview mirror when Kyle was getting too close to the gun.

I could almost imagine the look in Jeb' eyes, Ian's astonishment, Kyle's suspicion and the rifle among them, getting affectionate pats from Jeb every five seconds.

Jeb came back a few miles down the road, while telling his theories and discoveries to the stunned brothers. He again left the road and stopped the car in a place out of sight of anyone passing by the road, behind a hill.

- If you want to live in my stash, there are rules to follow. The first is to abandon this car. We have vehicles there and this one draws a lot of attention. If we need more cars, we can stole a more discreet one from the parasites.

Kyle tried to protest, but he really could not argue against the fact that big car he had, red and with flames painted on the sides jarred with the much more common cars the parasites preferred. The truth, according to Ian, is that Kyle was too scared and relieved to find Jeb and have a place to hide. Even he realized that the car was a small sacrifice to make for a bit of safety.

They grabbed their backpacks and walked through the desert for a few hours to the point where Jeb had found them. A little further along, by some stones, Jeb had left his own provisions and, along with what they had, it was enough for the day's hike that followed until they reached their new home.

- It was hard at first. We could not resign ourselves to the fact that we couldn't do anything for my father or Jodi. In addition, there was the heat, the darkness, the horrible food ...

He paused for a moment, seeming embarrassed, and touched my neck with his fingertips, right where he had wounded me when I was in Melanie's body:

- Of course there were no wacky people trying to kill us.

I cringed a little, because I didn't like to think about those early days, and even less liked how Ian felt when we talked about it.

- Ian, you thought you were defending yourself and your friends. There's no need for so much guilt.

- You know it will not be a day that I do not regret that moment.

- And you know and _I_ know you would never do that if you understood what you're seeing, if you knew me.

- You bet I wouldn't. - he replied smiling, replacing the fingers by his lips, causing me chills that went through my whole body.


	5. Chapter 5 With Jamie

I was still immersed in that memory when I was brought back to the present by Lily saying goodbye. Mel and Jared had already left several minutes ago, but not before she threw me an inquiring glance. I ran away from her eyes and even more from Jared's, who looked from me to Ian, his eyes full of mixed emotions. I couldn't deal with it today, so I took refuge in memories until everyone had gone, except for Jamie and Lily, who stayed a little longer to arrange a football match with Ian, now that people was vacating the games room. She left smiling and I was deeply pleased to see that scene. Lily smiled very little lately, but she was gradually returning to what she was. On that day of sorrow, she had asked me what sense did it make that love and life continued. I did not know. But when I saw her smiling and looked at Ian and Jamie at my side, I could imagine an answer.

Jamie had stretched himself on the kitchen's bench next to me and laid his head in my lap. Now he was yawning and all awkwardly standing around to give me a goodnight hug. Sleepy as he was, he forgot himself a little longer there with me, resting his body in arms. His right hand had extended to the side of my head touching Ian's shoulder. Ian was right behind me and his right hand rounded the other side of my head and reached Jamie's back, while his left one rested on the curve of my waist. Knowing that Jamie's family was growing, that there was someone else who would do anything to protect him, and being there between the two of them was the most sublime happiness I ever had and my eyes filled with that emotion. Before I collapsed in tears and left them think there was something wrong with me, I pulled myself together and said:

- Good evening, Jamie. Sleep well, dear.

- Good night, Wanda. Good night, Ian.

- Good night, kid.

Our embrace faded and Jamie quickly disappeared through the halls, not looking like someone who, just moments ago, was practically asleep in my arms. Ian was still behind me, still with his hand on my waist. Without saying anything I also left through the dark with him by my side, every part of me conscious of the hand that touched me, of the arms surrounding me and of the clear horizon opened before me in those dark and familiar hallways.


	6. Chapter 6 At Home

Gradually, our footsteps were getting faster and synchronized, when we got close to our door, Ian took me in his arms as he had done many times before. This time, however, it seemed to have a different meaning for him.

At the door, he stopped and kissed me and I was glad I didn't have to rely on my own legs to keep me upright, but in a few seconds he looked up separating our lips. The setback that would have caused me had time to settle, because he pressed me against his chest so tenderly and looked at me with such blazing eyes, that I felt I was the most stupid being of all worlds known to have avoided those sapphire eyes all day.

If before, when I lived in that body strong and tall of Mel, he hardly seemed to notice my weight, carry that little body I had now appeared to be an insignificant effort for him. In one swift motion he bent one leg and put me sitting on it, while using his free hand to push one of the doors with a minimum of fuss. The door fell with muffled thud, overhanging some boxes that had been behind her. He placed me gently on our bed and turned to rearrange the door. I sat up admiring the shape of his back. I felt I could look at him for hours, but I really wanted him to turn and look at me too. Suddenly, the inherited shyness of this body disappeared, giving way to that heat that turned me into someone else whenever he was around. At that moment I was no longer myself, I was him too was, it was a new being, the two of us mingled and united indefinitely.

But he did not turn to look back at me as I wanted, instead he stopped for a few seconds, head down, shoulders tense. His shoulders fell down as gave a sigh when he finally spoke:

- Wanda, we need to talk. - he said as he turned and walked up to me with his face tortured with desire and concern.

- Ian, do you think I don't know what is about to happen? That I don't know what I want?

- It's not that. I know you understand. And you don't have any idea how it makes me feel when you say that it's what you want ... - he took a deep breath and closed his eyes as running his hand through his black hair - I just don't know if you understand what that means for our relationship from a... from a human point of view.

I was having a hard time understanding where he was trying to get and, frankly, this conversation was bothering me a little:

- You think I don't know how to handle my human feelings, Ian?

- I just want to make things right with you, Wanderer. Play my cards right. I don't know if you understand exactly what you mean to me. What I do know is that, as much as I desire you, I need you to understand that you're much more than that to me. Of course it would be wonderful if we could finally be together, but perhaps it's not the time.

A cold feeling took hold of my heart when I remembered Jared's scruples at first because of Melanie's age. I panicked at the thought that he could be suffering with the same dilemma. With my voice escaping me in gulps and my eyes filled with tears, I tried to dissuade him:

- I do not know why you're treating me like a child. HOW CAN IT BE? I AM THOUSANDS HUMAN YEARS OLD, IAN!

Now_ that_ surprised him. Quickly and hugged me, and started reassuring me, cradling me like a baby. That pissed me off even more, but I knew he just wanted me to stop yelling and calm down. And that's what I did:

- This is just a body, Ian. Merely a young body, but the soul that lives in here, the old wanderer soul you fell in love with, knows very well what she is doing.

He bit his lip with a strange expression on his face, almost ... fun. That's right! He was laughing at me! The teenager body where I lived was frustrated and angry. I was even a little hurt. I needed to take charge of this body, of these emotions and of this situation immediately!

The expression on my face, new as it was to me the feeling of being angry at him, must have been hilarious, because he couldn't help it anymore and burst out laughing:

- You're so cute when you're all worked up! - he said, still laughing.

That completely disarmed me, even more when he started kissing my mouth, my forehead, my neck ... His face was red and his chest was shaking with laughter while he kissed me. He looked so cute! Completely confused and unresponsive, I also ended up laughing with him.

He put his fingertip in my face and gathered a tear that frustration gave birth and laughter had liberated, and landed it on his own face, in a gesture that made my heart fell warm as if exposed to the sun

- I'll always want to laugh with you and steal your tears so them can be just mine and you can never be sad. I have chosen you, and to depend on me, that choice is forever. You know, before there was a word for that, here on Earth. Marriage. Do you understand that I want to melt with you completely, while you're here on this planet? I know this is something very serious and I'll understand if you say you're not yet ready.

Definitely, my heart was exposed to the sun

- I also chose you. I, Wanderer, this soul who loves you completely, human Ian. I told you I would never have another companion, no matter where or how long he lived. I told you this, Ian, when we parted. How could you forget?

- I didn't, but that was different. When you said that you thought there wouldn't be other lives, much less this life, that you'd have no escape. You ... you made Doc promise you he wouldn't bring you back.

He turned his face to not have to face me. Grief, anger and sadness mingling in his voice. Immediately the image of him that day, suffering as I had never seen and never want to see again, invaded me.

How had I hurt him! I was so selfish as to not realize how much he'd be devastated when he found out I was gone forever. When he discovered that I was not resting inside a cryogenic tank, awaiting the hope of a new life, but under the wasteland, next to Wes and Walt. At that moment, I realized the weight of having to protect those I loved from myself. So I took his face and pulled him back to me. I knelt before him and placed both hands on either side of his face, closing his angular chin in my small hands, and looked right into his eyes, trying hard not to be burned by those blue flames:

- When I said that, I was sure I would not survive you. And I still don't intend to. But I didn't make you this promise because I thought it wouldn't have to keep it. I did it because I chose this planet. This is my home and I'm not leaving here for anywhere else. More than anything, I'm not going anywhere ever again without you. This I promise you now. How about _this_ as a wedding vow to you?

He smiled slightly, his eyes were teary and his voice was hoarse when he said quietly and slowly:

- I guess that makes you my wife. And I think now I need to be your husband, Wanderer.

_Well, problem solved!_ – I thought before he began to kiss me and I couldn't think about anything else.

In a flash, our clothes were thrown in every corner, I looked at Ian and realized I had never seen him. Not _really_ seen him, entirely. When I did, I wished every inch of me was stuck to that magnificent body. He seemed to read my thoughts. Fire and Ice alternated on my skin, causing burning desire where he touched me and sending shivers from head to toe at the same time. While one of his hands gripped my hair, the other went down behind my back, making a path of fire wherever he touched until he reached the back of the knee. He bent my leg over his and laid down on me.

And the rest of the world was swept by the fury of the wind.


	7. Chapter 7 Finally the Sun

Later that night, I woke up in his arms. I looked through the opening in roof of the cave and saw no stars. But I didn't care that the night was dark, the stars were all inside me.

I was Wanda, the human. I was Wanderer, the Soul. Now I was also a wife. And Ian loved them all.

I looked at him smiling in his sleep, having some beautiful dream. Maybe about me. So I expected. No, I was sure it was about me. I wanted to dream too, so I closed my eyes knowing that no matter how long it rained, nor how dark was the night. The Sun now illuminated me from the inside out. For as long as we lived.

**Hi, readers. I guess you're not the reviewer type, right? But that's ok. I appreciate you reading anyway. Hope you enjoyed the ride! So this is it for After the Rain, but on the next days I'll start working on the translation of my other Host stories: Sunlight Passing Throught the Ice (starring Sunny and Kyle) and Before and After the Rain (with Ian's POV). It would be great if you could take a look on them too!**


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